Top 10 tell tale signs you’re addicted to Facebook
The F5 or Refresh Button has seen more action today than any key or function of the computer
When you haven’t made the News Feeds of your friends in a while, you change your profile slightly – just to show people you’re still alive or exist
You frequently plunder other “Friends” lists just to include them in yours – an act known as friend-facebook-stealing or BuddyTheft
You’ve added at least one person that you have no idea who or what they are, just to bump up your numbers
Withdrawal symptoms kick in when you’re away from the PC, which has now been remedied by adding the Mobile Phone application, Text Alert application, TV and Bathroom wall Application
You check on it more times in an hour than you would do a new born child, itchy scab or bothering STD
You’ve been tempted or have turned up to other peoples “Events” – quoting a bizarre coincidence that you are there, when in actual fact it looked a lot more interesting than what you had planned that evening
There’s more than three invites for being a Werewolf, Vampire or Zombie still lurking to be ignore or confirmed after many weeks – but you haven’t got the heart to basically tell the person that sent it to sod off by “Ignore”
You’ve joined more than one Network that you have no idea what they’re about, have never even visited or are ever likely to
The Super Wall function and Facebook inbox have replace email and SMS as your number one source for contacting people
+11. You firmly believe that Friends Reunited and MySpace were a complete waste of your ever-so valuable time now, just as you’re sure Facebook will be when it becomes replaced by something else just as all the others were each and every time
Dumbledore was an old English word for Bumblebee - an creature with a sting in his rear, perhaps we're reading more into this than needs to be
Albus Dumbledore is an anagram for "A Dumbbell Roused", which doesn't really mean a lot but there's a phallic mention along with weightlifting connotations
Dumbledore's patronus is a phoenix - a large "flaming" bird, need we say more
Griselda Marchbanks, Head of the Wizarding Examinations Authority, once remarked that the young Dumbledore had "...done things with a wand I'd never seen before”???!!????
He has a scar on his left knee which is a "perfect map of the London underground” - underground/in the closet - make of that what you will.
His house is Gryffindor whose symbol is a Gryffin - a large vicious lion with "wings" added , wings, seriously, on a lion??
Favourite drink is a Cosmo or an Apple Martine - although it’s purely speculation, we're unsure it's not completely untrue
Also, his name is an anagram of "Labored Bum Duels" and "Balled Bum Roused", both still really mean nothing but they made us chuckle
He has (according to the books) a moustache AND a beard - we assured the beard is Professor Minerva McGonagall
Pointy hats, flowing capes – once again, need we say more
The majority of comments attached to your posts are there just to correct your spelling and grammar
You haven't really got the concept behind Web 2.0 and just use blogging as your on-line diary, thinking no one will really read it – everyone you know does and you're losing friends by the hour
Ads running down the main page of your site are picking up obscure key-words. They’re now displaying erectile dysfunction and non-branded bunk medication banners – not really showing you in the best light to your Grandmother
Everyone from Outer Mongolia to Taipei all know what you had for breakfast and which person in the office you hate the most and no one really cares
Posting more than 5 times an hour just shows you have far too much time on your hands and a "life" is needed to be gotten
If all topics are based around your ex and why things didn't work out and how you wished things turned out differently – the "life" mentioned above needs to be gotten much much quicker
Your URL is banned by every ISP on the planet
Inventing things about yourself just to make you appear more interesting sounds a great idea on paper, anonymously writing about it online when no one really gives a damn – not so much
When clicking on links posted in comments is closely followed by spending the next four days disinfecting your computer from viruses – you know you're attracting the wrong kind of person
Your high school English teacher is the most frequent poster (see number 1) and she ends each reply with a very large red cross, followed by the words "See Me”
You’ve already broken three New Years resolutions and we’re just out of the first week
Easter Eggs are now on sale. In fact, they were on sale Jan 1st 00:00:01
At least four people you know are detoxing this month, another five say they are but you’ve already been out drinking with them. You’ve just seen three of the four crack and eat a 12” deep pan pizza all to themselves
You’ve returned more than two of your Christmas gifts and have been caught by a member of your family returning YOUR gift – a pact has been struck never to talk of this again
There are more than 10 rotting Christmas trees littering the pavement of your street waiting to be collected as rubbish, expect them all to still be there come summer time – they might even have taken root by then, who knows
Only a third of all predictions from last year have come true and seeing as we’re being more environmentally friendly now – we’re going to add the remainder to this year. And possibly keep on cascading them until they all come true. I still hear they’re trying to reunited the Beatles, by shooting the other two – this might be the year, if Heather McCartney gets her way (allegedly)
You have some sort of unconsumed Christmas food or drink at home somewhere and debate each time you pass it whether it’s still apt to use it. This will get tougher each time you see it and some day you’ll flip out, this it what happened to Saddam Hussein – don’t go down the same route, please
A new series of Celebrity Big Brother has started in the UK and a new season of “24” is about to in the USA – why not combine them? I’d like to see Jack Bauer take out a few C list celebrities, am sure we all would and it will make ‘sensational’ viewing. Perhaps we can even vote via text message which one goes first and by what means
You still wake up at three in the morning screaming, and in a cold sweat at a jumper you Nan bought you as a gift - you were 7 at the time but still it haunts and has clearly, clearly left a scar. They now use the same pattern as wallpaper to torture inmates at Guantanamo bay
Because it’s past December 31st, check the calendar - idiot
